'In the Light' -- Fresh Air

Cut off, he looked up to see Exhedra was pointing at something.

He looked in the direction she was pointing, and what he saw made his heart start to pound, his body sitting taller and eyes wider without him even realizing it.

One thick, purple hock started to peek out from the side of the ship, out of the entryway and toward the ground.

       Pepps looked on in a near trance, surrealism swallowing his tattered mind as his feet gingerly stretched out towards the earth.

After all this time, after so long of being trapped behind concrete and metal, after years of being separated from nature in its entirety, prisoner 777, Pepps, was allowed to step out into nature, and touch it.

He held his breath again as the tips of his hocks came to plant in the soft dirt, his body outstretched as he held himself to the ship by his hands.
He trembled, letting a small, somewhat pathetic and throaty sound escape him when the coolness greeted his skin.

It was as if he felt that letting go would mean he would fall down, and it was possible that that was a fear he had.

But through it all, he chose to move on, and finally let go of the board.

For the first time in our equivalent of perhaps decades, Pepps was standing freely in a grassy, open field, outside, in the sunlight.

He blinked in the direct contact with the light, holding a hand up for just a few seconds before adjusting.
A soft "oh," escaped him as the notion of where he was and that it was real swallowed his insecurity bit by bit.
He saw water, he saw people, he saw trees and blue sky, clouds and a sun giving a planet warmth and life, and when he looked at himself he saw him, free, and in nature.
After a moment, a butterfly caught his attention.

It startled him as it fluttered by, but as soon as it had surprised him it had captivated him.

He'd forgotten butterflies even existed, sadly.

Everything was so green, so full of color, and then there were the sounds.

Birds, laughter, and the smell of dirt and life.

Starstruck, Pepps watched the others interact joyously before looking down at the ground beneath him.

...When was the last time he had seen grass?

While on his way to work the day Miyuki died?

Maybe.

He'd never really paid attention to grass before now, considering it was something he'd always had.

But now, here, suddenly the millions and billions of ever moving, ever present blades of green had his full attention, and his full appreciation.
God, and the wind, oh when had he last felt wind?
A cool, comforting breeze rolled past, moving the grass and stirring small bugs on the ground.
Pepps' expression of awe turned to a relaxed smile, and then a smile of sheer glee.

And then, the moment Lard Nar was waiting for.

Pepps finally began to laugh, throwing himself down into the dirt and earth and just rolling in it, vocalizing his joy with no shame.

This surprised no one, as a few people looked over and giggled at him.

He didn't care, and even if he'd noticed he would have known it was harmless.
He clutched the soil and rolled his palms over the green, making aphids leap away.
His hocks kicked out, his body stretching as he writhed in pure happiness in the full glow of the sun.
Its warmth felt so good, melting through his flesh and into his bones, giving him strength and the childlike lust to play he forgot he had.

Lard Nar sprang up, shouting "YES!" and throwing a fist in the air as Exhedra chuckled happily at the sight.

It warmed her heart, watching as Lard Nar practically flew over to his friend and fell on his knees before him.

     "Does it feel good?"

Pepps rolled over onto his own knees and, somewhat unexpectedly, hugged him.

The smaller man froze, then smiled and hugged back with thin arms.

Pepps pulled away, smiling with misty eyes.

"No, it's more..."

He blinked the impending tears away, too ecstatic to cry right now.

Look at how green everything is, Lardie!!!"

Pepps sprang up and began to leap around.

The energy and excitement was contagious.

As comprised as Lard Nar often tried to be, he couldn't resist jumping with Pepps and living in the moment.
He ran around him as Pepps spun in circles, throwing leaps in between each spin.
It was a silly sight, though a most fulfilling one.

     "Yes!

Ah Pepps, you needed this.
We all needed this.

Pepps stopped in front of him, taking a moment to pant.

He was already a bit worn out from the leaping around, but that was to be expected.

He calmed down while contemplating his answer.

What would he do?

More importantly, now that he was outside, what couldn't he do?"

He looked at Lard Nar, smiling once again.

Before Lard Nar could even respond, Pepps darted off toward the risen sun like a bullet, fleeing into the light with his arms in the air.

The others paid this little mind, as they fully understood what he was doing and why.

Lard Nar just laughed, not willing enough to chase after him, but perfectly happy to watch.

About a minute later, Pepps circled back to his buddy, breathing much harder while fighting to catch his breath.

He placed a hand on Lard Nar's shoulder, prompting a chuckle out of him as Lard Nar placed his own hand on one of Pepps' shoulders in an attempt to help stabilize him.

     "Okay, I know you're happy but maybe running yourself to the brink of exhaustion isn't the best idea," he finished with a smile.

Pepps nodded, but would certainly not heed this in its entirety.

He stood and exhaled, gaining his composure after a minute more.

He glowed, the happiness beaming off of him.

He startled Lard Nar, pointing as a few birds zipped over them.

To most people, a bird was just a bird, but to these two, it was a wondrous sight after so long of not seeing nature.

     "They're lovely..."

Pepps watched them until they were out of sight, awestruck.

This comment, as hopeful as it was, still managed to sink Lard Nar's heart a little.

Pepps was a caged bird, more than anything, with more than a heart light enough to fly, but with so much holding him back.

Once again, Lard Nar found himself wondering if Pepps would ever be the same.

Incredibly, through all of this, Lard Nar managed to not notice how troubled he himself was, too.

It was a selflessness he would never know he carried.

     "I...can't.

Pepps looked back down at him and smiled.

Lard Nar appeared to shrink, retreating in shyness.

     "Oh...

I'm trying."

Pepps suddenly became more sympathetic, realizing his words may have added a ton of weight to the situation.

Lard Nar nodded, smiling with an obvious forgiveness.

     "I know, and it's fine."

They began to walk together, absentmindedly watching everyone else as they chatted.

Lard Nar made a face of mixed emotion, somewhere between humble, surprised and confused.

     "N-No, no it's not that great, really, eh -- but I appreciate that, thank you."

Pepps looked at him in shock.

Lard Nar, you stood up to the entire Irken Empire by doing that, you got your name out there."

He rubbed his face tiredly with one of his hands.

I can't say I would have done that."

At this, Lard Nar just looked up at him.

Pepps was still smiling, and it was in that moment that Lard Nar remembered he truly did do a good thing that day, and was doing so now.

He finally smiled back once more, and with more feeling.

It was a weak smile, but it counted.

Pepps held his chin thoughtfully, then grinned and stopped their walk.

And again, he took off running.

Lard Nar shook his head, and happily chased after him.

     "Wait!

I think they're the other way!"

They laughed all the way to the hillsides, their silhouettes dancing against the eyes of those who watched them run off.

---to be continued---


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I love typing these, but somehow it always comes from Lard Nar's perspective.

Which i truly don't mind, and in fact i enjoy it because i still strongly feel i don't give him enough attention, but it makes the moments of getting into Pepps' head rather difficult sometimes :L

Hopefully i'll learn to fix that, i was really tired while typing this so maybe the second part will be a little better

Part two DEFINITELY will require more of getting in both of their heads, so let's see if i can't divide that up ~v~

Meanwhile, i just love these two so much

To this day, Lard and Pepps remain my fav best guy friends ever

And i hope the point i'm making with Pepps while he was first trying to come to grips with reality is coming across well, trauma does change people and it can be hard to reacquaint with someone who's been deeply scarred, no matter how close you are to them.

Lard Nar has a lot to learn about Pepps now, but thankfully the loving, warm and passionate, naturally happy man that Pepps is never dies, even after imprisonment and torture.

Lard Nar has some serious issues and mental scars of his own, but he's put so much responsibility on his own shoulders and tries so hard to take care of everyone and remain in control that he doesn't really see that.

He thinks he's fine, but eventually he will start to see that he needs help and love, too.
I don't give him enough credit for being surprisingly selfless in mine and Kit's head cannon, i think we've panned him out to be a very wonderful man with great intentions, even if he is a hot mess and can be demanding at times X3
I love him to BITS, man!
He's too good!!! *squishes him*

IZ brings so much tragedy to the table if you're an uberly feely person like me

BUT this bitter sweetness is something i honestly love, the piercing cooling warmth of hope and stinging sadness hurts so good ,~0~,

Enjoy!